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Guide to Being a Bad Fan

There are plenty of guides out there for different things, very few for bad things. Well I decided that the bad fan needs some sort of a guide so they know exactly how bad they are. Here are a few simple rules that every bad fan must follow.

Take off your shirt - You have to. This is a must. And the fatter and more hair you have the better. This usually works best during sell outs when you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers.

Be drunk - It’s best to show up drunk and then get completely plastered during the game. Because sports are just that much better when you’re drunk, and so are you.

Ask for the score constantly - Why would you waste your time looking at the scoreboard when other people can do it for you? Besides, you have beer to drink you can’t be bothered with such time consuming tasks.

Wear a jersey - Not just any jersey though. It has to be of a former player who was complete trash or sucked with your team and is now a star for another. I/E wearing a David Ortiz jersey to a Twins game.

Be really drunk - Yeah, I know it’s already on the list, but it needs to be said again. You must be drunk.

Curse really loud - Everything sentence is better with “fuck” or some variation in it. Example “Bad call ump!” or “Bad fucking call ump!” Which one sounds better? Obviously the second one. Also, parents love to have you swearing like a sailor around their kids.

So there you have it. Just a few tips to get you on your way to becoming the worst fan you can be.

3 Responses to “Guide to Being a Bad Fan”

  1. Hmm, I usually take off my shirt only to put on an Ortiz jersey while I’m spilling beer and yelling “what’s the fing score!?!”

    This, uh, not good, you say?

  2. No, that is PERFECT.

  3. My personal favorite is grabbing two beers, especially when you are in the middle of the section. Also, by not sipping it down, you ensure that you will spill it down the backs of the people in front of you!

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