• Blog Stats

    • 105,007 people have looked at this crap.

  • Look who's talkin'

    Jeffrey C on Guide to Being a Bad Fan
    Steve on Guide to Being a Bad Fan
    Grundy on Guide to Being a Bad Fan
    Gothjet on Boy Scouts Leave Me Alone…
    bronsonfive on Woo Hookers!
    I’ll Buy That … on Woo Hookers!

  • The old blogs...

  • a

  • RSS Don't Eat the Worm

    • Cancer Free, The Way to Be January 17, 2008
      More proof that beer is good for you.  Researchers in Germany say that a cancer-fighting substance found in hops could be enhanced to brew a special anti-cancer beer. I don’t think I’ve read a better story all year. I know the year is young, but the only news that could be better would be “Drinking on the [...]
    • Flaming Shot January 10, 2008
      The flaming shot. It’s an amateur move for sure, but it looks cool. The problem is that a lot of people don’t know how to take this shot. They can make it, and light it on fire and that’s where their “smartness” ends. Example 1 This dude is not smart. And the chick that says “Oh my [...]
    • Don’t Just Drink it January 8, 2008
      We all love beer right? RIGHT!? Well not only is beer delicious and good for you, but it can be used for all sorts of things that aren’t drinking related. Here is the story. Below I have chosen some of my favorites; CLEAR UP BROWN SPOTS IN YOUR LAWN According to Andrew Lopez, a professional gardener, the fermented [...]
    • A Drink a Day Keeps the Doctor Away January 3, 2008
      Health benefits from alcohol? Damn right! According to scientists (not just random drunk people anymore), alcohol in moderation is actually good for you. They say that one alcoholic drink a day will help with all kinds of stuff. Your heart Your pancreas Your Joints Your over all health Sometimes I like to combine 2 weeks worth of 1 beer a day [... […]
    • About Bloody Time January 2, 2008
      After a night of hard drinking you will wake up either drunk or hung-over. Being drunk is not the problem, it’s the coming down from being drunk and being hung-over that is the problem. The solution; a Bloody Mary. There are 3 types of morning drinkers. There is the person who drinks a Bloody Mary, a person [...]
    • DWI of the Year January 1, 2008
      Here at Don’t Eat the Worm we don’t condone drinking and driving. It is a dumb and reckless move that can cost not only you your life but an innocent person. (Not saying you’re guilty.) BUT Meagan Harper is now a god in DWI/DUI circles. She was busted in Oregon with a .55 BAC. The legal limit [...]

  • RSS My Thursday night radio show

    • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

Learn to Drive!!…

Posted on October 24, 2007 by Steve

It seems like every day I leave my house and drive some place I get stuck behind someone who is a complete retard? Seriously I think people driving shitty accounts for 90% of the stress in my life and it happens on a daily basis. I can only relieve myself from stress (jerk off) so many times a day before that gets old.

Is there a reason that people are such shitty drivers?

  • Is it because they don’t know how to read? (English or signs in general?)
  • Is it because they are so old they can remember the Civil War, and actually fought in it?
  • Are they actually retarded?
  • Are they blind?
  • Is it a celebrity?

These are all questions that run through my mind as I’m stuck behind them. 

I curse.

I honk my horn.

I curse some more.

I do that swerve into the shoulder move so you can look past them.

I do it all and nothing seems to faze these people. They are completely oblivious to everything around them.

  • They go 20 mph down the on-ramp when they know you need to be going 70 mph once you reach the bottom.
  • They take left hand turns from the right lane, even though there is a middle turn lane.
  • They go 10 - 15 mph UNDER the speed limit when there is no reason to.
  • They drive with out lights on in the rain or around dusk/dawn so no one can see them.
  • They cut you off and drive slower than the posted speed by at least 10 mph.

Of course none of this stuff happens when I’m on a lesiurly drive to a friends house, but if I’m in a hurry sure enough some jackass will cut me off and drive 30 in a 45. 

Like I said, this happens to me every day. Sometimes I wish I could just run these people off the road and kick them right in the teeth.

——————–

The World Series starts today and I am stoked. Not because I like either team, but because I can start gambling…Er….Not gambling because it’s illegal. I mean I love baseball that much, yeah that’s it.

Prediction - Boston in 5 games.

——————–

Word of the Day -

Gummy -

The act of receiving a blow-job from a toothless woman or man.

Filed under: Angry, Blogging, Celebrities, Driving, I Hate..., Life, The world around me. | Tagged: , , ,

« Do you have your “speedy” card?… Can’t see? Not a Problem! »

20 Responses to “Learn to Drive!!…”

  1. Jeffrey C, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:17 am Said:

    I am with you 100% on this one, I get so angry at the people who go slow down the on ramp, or slow down to merge… That does not even make sense to me… SPEED THE FUCK UP WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO ENTER TRAFFIC!!!!
    I also HATE people who almost come to a complete stop to turn into a parking lot or even just to turn right; come on people, I can safely take a turn at 10mph, its not hard.
    Also, the assholes that think the left lane is for people who want to go the speed limit or five under; most police I have talked to, will not even set down there coffee to pull someone over that is going 5 over the posted speed limit, especially if they are in the left lane!

    When I was stationed in Europe, I drove on the auto strata (auto baun depending on what country you are in) several times, and you know what? Besides tolls, I never had to slow down past 135 mph (yes that is miles per hour), there was no traffic on the free ways; it was crazy, it was as if these foreigners new how to merge, weird I know. Guess what they did when you were approaching them at about 100 meters from behind? They got into the other lane, AND they signaled… WOW

    Bottom line, learn how to fucking drive! If you are uneasy about driving on the free way, either practice on a Saturday evening, or go to Barnes and Nobles, buy a Minnesota road atlas for 19.99, and learn all the back roots to your common destinations… Other than that, get the fuck out of my way.

  2. King Steve, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:36 am Said:

    Hahahaha…

    I ALWAYS move over to the right if I see a car flying up on me…Even if I am speeding…

    You should NEVER have to pass on the right…It pisses me off when I have to do that shit…

  3. Jeffrey C, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:37 am Said:

    EXACTLY!!! Most stats now have signs posted on freeways that say “Slower traffic use right lane” or something close to that.

  4. Becca, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:39 am Said:

    I am in a rush on my way to work and it never fails that I get stuck behind the commercial driver in training. Just great! A newbie in a big rig going 3 MPH in a 45. Fucking retards.

  5. King Steve, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:41 am Said:

    Jeff - Yeah, but a lot of people don’t read them….Or follow them….

    Becca - Yeah those guys suck too!!….I am scared to drive next to semi trucks now after I was almost killed by 2 of them within a week….

  6. Jeffrey C, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:51 am Said:

    I am going to develop some sort of all terrain vehicle, something between a Mad Max vehicle and a monster truck… maybe a tank as well. Some one is going slow, run them over; traffic build up, blow them the fuck away; and yet I have enough speed to out run the cops!

  7. Jeffrey C, on October 24th, 2007 at 7:55 am Said:

    Steve… This is my Blog now, make love to me… I mean show me love

  8. Jeffrey C, on October 24th, 2007 at 7:55 am Said:

    Damn I thought it would have had a hot link…
    http://jeffreyc.wordpress.com/

  9. Jimmy, on October 24th, 2007 at 9:13 am Said:

    Thats when you ram them from the back and send them off the road or into on coming traffic.

  10. Amanda, on October 24th, 2007 at 10:57 am Said:

    i understand your pain…i think the driving in texas has drastically declined over the past few months…i cant stand to drive anymore…

  11. thatpessimist, on October 24th, 2007 at 11:29 am Said:

    i almost got nailed yesterday. I was in the left lane on a 4 lane street. This lady flies out of a gas station and cuts across all the lanes and doesn’t even see us. My roommate (who was driving) thankfully got into the turn lane before the stupid bitch hit us.

  12. joebec, on October 24th, 2007 at 12:22 pm Said:

    i TOTALLY feel you on this one Steve, and you know i will always go out of my way to pass them so i can look at them and they are always staring into their REAR VIEW FUCKING MIRROR! The answer isn’t BEHIND you ASSHOLE!!! It’s NEXT TO YOU NOW!! i swear, if i only had a gun… but i digress…

    thanks for letting me rant.

  13. ~'Lisa's Lair'~, on October 24th, 2007 at 1:33 pm Said:

    I feel you on this one! I get so pissed sometimes for all of the things you listed in your blog. Have you tried getting a blow job while you’re driving, it might soothe you?

  14. thedesktop, on October 24th, 2007 at 6:53 pm Said:

    I blame it on cell phones and adjusting the radio. Unfortunately, I’ll be learning to drive soon, so I’ll be joining the ranks of the dumbasses on the road.

  15. King Steve, on October 24th, 2007 at 11:21 pm Said:

    Jeff - If you make that thing, I want one!…

    Jimmy - I don’t want to ruin my car because of their shitty driving…

    Amanda - I think it’s bad pretty much everywhere….

    That Pessimist - Figures….It was a woman driver….You could have said some even more off the way shit and I still would have believed you….Heh..

    Joebec - People suck…Especially when they’re driving….I don’t blame you for wanting to kill them, I feel the same way…

    Lisa - I’m kind of scared of road head…What if one of those shitty drivers cuts me off and I have to slam on my brakes?….Bad news for me…

    DT - Some would say you’re right…Others (like me) would say that those people are just stupid fucks that can’t drive period….Good luck man…

  16. romi41, on October 25th, 2007 at 1:19 am Said:

    The timing is EVERYTHING; as in bad timing; seriously, it’s always when I’m driving to the train station at 6:30am, and literally timing my drive by getting the green lights…THAT’s when the slow-ass bitches come out to play….fuckers…I have nothing else to say; I’m just generally grouchy right now (and suffering from insomnia, since I’m awake and have to get up for work in 3hours..lol.. ;-) )

  17. King Steve, on October 25th, 2007 at 1:21 am Said:

    I hear ya…Those bastards know just when to drive to piss “us” off….

    I’m at work right now!…

  18. lisa, on October 25th, 2007 at 2:32 am Said:

    it’s old poepl and people who arne’t payign attention. they suck,.

  20. derekthajuggla, on October 30th, 2007 at 10:43 am Said:

    you know who sucks? people that only know how to drive one fucking speed! they are going 45 mph in a 50….then it changes to 40…and they are still going 45. first you’re 5 under now 5 over. make up your fucking mind….better yet, just stay off the fucking road all together.

    PLUS, there should be a seperate highway built just for semi trucks. i mean it’s understandable that it takes time to get something that heavy moving at a good speed, exactly the reason they should be on the same roads as regular cars going 70 mph and then some big rig trys to merge going 25 mph. it just doesn’t work.

Leave a Reply